Just went for a haircut...

It turns out a new look... I was a bit hesitant in the beginning...but then there was a voice in my heart yelling....why not! I need some changes in my life. Anyway, let's start with my haircut and then let go of those in the past... those people annoying me...those who didn't know what life is...those who didn't open their heart and sense it or give response to.

I have enough!!!

Just start a new life and enjoy it!

Now every time when i look at myself at the mirror. I know that I can' t live in the past or my fantasy any more. I have to stand up and move on.!. BE MYSELF; BE MY LIFE!!!

I don't know why I would feel like crying every time when I am listening to Isrel's song "Somewhere over the rainbow". The voice of solitude echoes the forlorn heart...

 Sometimes i could be silly, putting myself into depressing mood that I could hardly survive from it.

 Day in and day out, I want freedom. An unfreed heart can never free an unfree soul.

really want to jump into an ocean and let the waves lead me, banish gloom from my thought, melt me to the tiny bubbles, make me be the one of deep blue sea and just give me rest in the cradle of the ocean---- lock all my impulse of confessing the truth feelings and the passion into the tranquil sea... and just let it decompose and one day it'll be only nothing...

 L'amore est la syrup or poison.

The  Myth of the Blackbird

"The beautiful song of the blackbird makes it a symbol of temptations, especially sexual ones. The devil once took on the shape of a blackbird and flew into St Benedict's face, thereby causing the saint to be troubled by an intense desire for a beautiful girl he had once seen. In order to save himeself, St. Benedict tore off his clothes and jumped into a thorn bush.. This painful act is said to have freed him from sexual temptation for the rest of his life.

According to ancient myth, a blackbird serves as a messenger and guide between the world of dreams and waking thoughts, memories and secret spaces.

Late at night, the blackbird's song is heard at the gateway between the realm of the living and the dead and it lulls the conscious mind to sleep, and awaken the hidden self."   From the house programme of Blackbird

I ended my summer holiday with a marvellous but daunting performance this afternoon in TST.

 Blackbird .... a very very dark dark story but impressive and painful to me.

Been thinking of having a friend/ friends to watch with me....

the first target went to Thailand dramatically and totally forgot it ....and I was like an idiot to wait for the reply........kind of pissed off......."take it easy" that's what i can do!

the second target... bought her ticket but didn't show up...puuuuuuuffffffff!!!! really disappointed..... (but i guess she must be in some trouble)

So lonely i was to watch the performance.....but with shock.....................

Shock 1: it was totally different style from what Theatre du Pif usually does

Shock 2: Bonni's performance and images presented were absolutely impressive and seducive...hot!

Shock 3: The story made me recall lots of images, arousing lots of mixed feelings and pain... a journey of experiencing pain and bitterness... experience of peeling layers of flesh, awakening the hidden self...

Glad to be watch it on my own though.

 It is totally a tragedy... a one starts by a mistake and ends with a mistake....all trapped by the past and the dark sides of heart... bagging them for life... throwing them away as rubbish as waste... but keeps reoccuring..... can't wipe it out completely........  think could go over it but never do... live a new life with the past deteriorating, degenerating souls..... but still have to live...together with the darkness... torn apart by the lust, the chills and thrills, anger and regret...

Who's fault? No one... it's only "A tug-of-war between lust and love", "real self and hidden self".

This is a performance shouldn' be missed!